Uncategorized – Page 3 – Diaries of a Deep Soul

The Foundation of Love.. Releasing Judgement & Expectations.. “12 Feb 2017”

“Love is saying, ‘I feel differently, instead of you are wrong…”

We seek it, want it, need it, genuine heart-felt unconditional love yet it eludes so many of us…

Not infatuation, lust, or what you think makes you happy, but true intimacy at the level of your soul.

How do we create deep authentic connections with those who matter most?

Love seems to come in precious moments that we cannot seem to grasp before time and our busy lives takes their toll…

Must we try so hard to make love work?

Is love not just meant to flow?

We hear about unconditional love, that we must learn to love ourselves first before we can love another. It requires something so simple, yet difficult in practice, letting go of making ourselves, and others, wrong…

When you keep pointing out someone else’s wrong doings, you hold the negative energy of needing to correct, convince, control, or change (the 4 C’s, as i call them)…

Someone should be or do things the way you expect them too…

Blaming, complaining, or condemning becomes acceptable.

When You, yourself wrong or err, you hold thoughts of how you should be, and end up feeling just not worth it…

We now see ourselves and others as objects or problems that need to be fixed….

My parents, worked hard and instilled strong values of kindness, respect, and the intense imperative need for education… It was critical we as kids had education and something to fall back on… However i did learn the very painful way that watching what an elder sibling does is not always the way to go… So i followed my father’s teachings instead and learned what was right and wrong, words of wisdom from a poor man who’s wealth was his extremely massive heart and silent knowledge.

I lead a happy personal and professional life today…

Married with virtually zero drama or conflict, and have the most amazing extended family…

We look forward to visits, and numerous all sorts get togethers as I like to call it…

Surprisingly, it turned out that I have become quiet the exception, having grown from a naive young female to a woman of substance…

I attribute the harmony i experience to my dad who gave of himself like no other with an uncanny ability to not complain about anything… He was one smart, highly productive, intriguing man.

Logical with astounding common sense, he instilled in me high self esteem, the secret ingredient to happiness…

What about love?

It did not need to be expressed to certainly know I was loved. Yet something was missing.

There was criticism and judgment growing up I could not see, right and wrong and good and bad. It was not just in my family, it was everywhere.

Expectations of how i was expected to behave, what I was supposed to know, who i was expected to be, and the kind of person I was expected to marry became very clear…

Now having dedicted my life to helping others, I suddenly find myself on a very spiritual path. I started learning things that did not fit with my “family norms.” I quickly learned what I could no longer share. And the gravest lesson of all was learning that there is nothing more powerful than my silence… And my prayer …

Harmony exists because everyone knows what to say and what not say. The moment I decided to step out of my “family box,” something shifted. My happiness grew, and I unexpectedly discovered what unconditional love meant. I learnt that happiness is a changing state of being, and love can be experienced on many different levels.

But what about things people say and do that have destructive consequences?

Many believe love is putting up with, sacrificing, tolerating, or suffering in silence, thinking their commitment is proof of their love. This is not love.

Understanding, seeing, hearing, and accepting someone for who they are is love.

When you have the burning need to keep at proving someone wrong, there is a value you hold being stepped on. It is black and white in your mind, but in between lives everyone else’s perception of truth.

Someone not living up to your value of “hard work” you may judge as “lazy.” Someone who does not follow your idea of “giving” you may judge as “selfish.” Someone you judge as “inconsiderate” is not acting in a way you see as “kindness.”

Notice how it feels when others project their values onto you. The question is not whether someone is right or wrong, but whether the words and actions are coming from the spectrum of fear on one side or love on the other. The result will be either constructive or destructive.

Extreme fear breeds hatred leading to very destructive consequences that shaytaan created in the world he lived in. Extreme love leads to compassion, and what Allah ta’allah created in the world we live in.

When you let go of needing others to live according to your “right” way, you realize how others respond is simply a projection of their reality.

A shift can now happen away from your fear-based ego toward love and compassion, where you can seek to understand, share, teach, and model. Trying to be patient is next to impossible in the place of fear, but shift to love and you will find all the patience you need.

We are all seeking truth, but truth is in the eye of the beholder. Discernment not judgment leads you to truth by getting curious and noticing whether someone’s perception of reality comes from love or fear. It’s the difference between competition and cooperation, doubt and trust. It will lead to holding on or letting go…

You stand in a place of superiority when you judge and see others as inferior. It is a destructive energy of being attached to “I am right” that you project onto someone else. Notice that what comes back will be defensiveness because no one believes they are “wrong.” Criticism is also being attached to “I am right,” but you don’t necessarily see someone as inferior.

The Golden Rule found in all spiritual teachings: Are you treating someone the way you want to be treated? Who wants to be treated to criticism and judgment?

When you let go of convincing, correcting, controlling, and trying to change others, you release a big illusion in love, ownership.

Your ego can convince you that belonging to someone is wonderful, but it’s the opposite. Having the independence to share your true self and allow others the same brings true intimacy.

No one makes you happy; happiness is found within. Until you live in compassion with yourself, the love you give will be conditional.

We are each a unique expression raised from birth to the present day living our truth based on our own values, beliefs, experience, and understanding. In every given moment we can only be and do our best. Your best will not be the same as someone else’s best.

We cling to love wanting it to last forever, but it cannot for we are the ones carrying that love, and we are constantly evolving.

The love we share is either growing together or growing apart. The paradox is love can grow apart, but it can also grow stronger.

I married someone who fit the idea of what I thought was “right,” and my awareness at that time of what I thought would bring me happiness. It has.

I thought this was love, but it was conditional, and that’s why it felt like something was missing. Now I know differently, and there is a lot more authenticity. We are closer than we have ever been… Alhamdulillah!!!

The secret to experiencing deeper love is allowing each other to grow.

Today, I experience the most profound sense of love I have ever known.

I havee learnt that love is wanting others to be happy without it needing it to be about you. This is how I know I love my husband, and everyone who loves me intensely with no condition and no agenda. They are not dependent on me for their happiness, and I am not dependent on them for mine.

It is when I can show up without criticism and judgment and I allow them to be exactly who they are that love is exchanged.

Unconditional love does not always come from the family we were born into because criticism, judgment, and the resulting expectations are a big part of family culture.

Family love is strong, lasting, and nothing compares, but experiencing unconditional love will often require you to break free from the family circle to follow your heart, and your own truth.

True love is eternal even if a relationship grows apart. When you surrender judgement, you will see the divine in everyone, including you.

NOW MY DEAR ONE THIS IS LOVE…

Judge NOT.. Love ALOT!!!

We have always been told that we should never judge a book by its cover. Of course, most of the time when that statement is made we are not talking about books. We are talking about judging other people. The truth is, until i open the book and see what is inside, i cannot really know what it is about except by its cover. Until i get to know someone i only have their outward appearance to be a guide for what is inside. I think it is appropriate to judge paper books by their covers.. But in all honesty is this the way we should treat people?

As far as my personal testimony before others are concerned, i want my appearance and actions to coincide with who i really am inside at least as much as possible..

However, sometimes people are in situations that do not allow them the privilege of showing on the surface what is underneath.

Maybe someone does not have the financial means to adorn themselves in a way that shows how loving and kind they are. It could also be that past decisions have left them in a physical condition that limits their ability to present themselves in a way that is in line with their internal desires..

Whatever the reason for a disconnect between appearance and person, we should be careful not to prejudge others.

Judging before we know the facts is called prejudice.

While we typically think of that word being applied to people from a different place or background than us, it is a perfectly good word to describe the act of being judgmental.

Judging before we know the facts is called prejudice, here are 7 ways can you become more loving and less judgmental..

Be Aware of Your Prejudices

Take note of what causes you to make judgment before knowing facts.. Sometimes it is easier to see these things in others.While you may not have the same prejudices as they have, you probably have tendencies that way. Then look at your own situations and try to see the things that push your negative buttons.By being aware of these tendencies, you are on your way to conquering them. Constantly remind yourself that you don’t have to go down a judgmental path towards others

Try to See the Other Person’s Perspective

Understand the other person’s perspective and situation, however it is imperative to remember that if you follow through with an action which will bring you negative publicity, avoid those types of decisions and actions, after all prevention is better than cure..

Allow ALLAH to Work in You

We love the idea of jumping on our high horses and calling things out, even if what we call out are lowly mannered lies.. By allowing Allah into our hearts and making decisions that are pleasing to him, will grant gratification as well as the ability to judge less

Allow Others the Freedom You so badly desire

We hear a lot of talk of tolerance by people who really want the freedom to live however they feel and without rules. Yet, those same people do not practice tolerance towards those who do want to live by personal, religious, or legal codes. Dont get me wrong, I am not advocating the typical meaning of “tolerance.”

Does this mean you cannot teach and help?

No! In fact, we should all be trying to help others grow with aqlaaq and maturity..

And this we need to do it with love. The arrogant mindset that says, “I am the only one who knows how to do anything right,” is not a loving one and won’t help you to overcome judgmental thoughts. And, furthermore, won’t actually help you teach anyone.

Realize that not every Personality is the same

It is easy to say that we understand people have different personalities, but sometimes it is hard to actually take that into account when dealing with other individuals..

Not Everyone Knows What You Know..

Nor do you know what others do, see the balance???

Be patient with others who may not be as educated or spiritually mature as you. And realize that you are probably not the most mature person in every relationship. Give others time to grow. Someone was patient with you. It is your turn to be patient with others.

Keep your expectations in check..
So often we judge outcomes based on expectations. Are you as amazed And happy as i am when i hear of someone’s succes..

When you set your expectations for others very high, then you are likely to be disappointed when they don’t perform as well as you hoped.

Of course, you can also look at others and expect very little from them. This is equally as bad. This causes an elitist attitude that looks critically unethical and unprofesional..

Going Forward..

When meeting new people or entering into new situations, we need to be discerning and wise. But do not allow that discernment to turn into critical, judgmental and prejudiced thoughts. Allow each situation to unfold and be flexible with whatever the outcome without presupposing what each person in the cast should do based on your own expectations.

Shower everything you do in unconditional love..

This is a great filter for how to view others and their actions.

Don’t throw away the entire fruit basket because of a few distasteful inedible fruit, clean it out & enjoy the goodness within, like the most beloved prophet did … Follow the path of the chosen one…

Almighty fashioned us with selfishness as an exam… Will we pass??? Or will we fail???

Almighty has created the human soul with a predisposition to selfishness as a test. Unless he lives by the moral values of the Qur’an and tames his earthly desires, this feeling will come to dominate his whole moral framework.

Such a person generally thinks of himself alone, rather than everyone else. He always wants the best, finest and most perfect of everything for himself. He wants to have possessions and children and for his own family merely to be comfortable. In face of difficulties, he will expect the people around him to undergo all kinds of risks and troubles for him and to support him, even at the cost of their own interests. He seeks to protect his own whims and interests and to ensure his own ease and comfort.

When the situation is different he can forgo many things he values, for the sake of protecting his own interests and preventing any harm coming to him.

Allah has revealed this passionate selfish feeling in human earthly desires as follows in the Qur’an: “Truly man was created headstrong – desperate when bad things happen, begrudging when good things come.” (Qur’an, 70:19-21)

They are a major threat to modern societies. The materialist thinking that is widespread in modern societies that do not live by religious moral values, reinforces the selfish and egotistical spirit in human nature and disseminates a “me-first” philosophy. Indeed, the idea of “So long as I’m all right, who cares what happens to anyone else?” or “Looking out for number one” generally dominates such societies.

Thus, oppressed and poor people; their children devoid of education or food, are of no interest to such people. This social structure generally leads to a troubled and unhappy atmosphere.

Only people living by the moral values of the Qur’an can bring about any change in such a contaminated society, only they can change the people of selfish interest — those who protect their own interests and violate everyone else’s, and who have no love or fear of Allah.

Islam cultivates love of Allah and which is the only way to acquire such values of good conscience as compassion and helpfulness, which are at the root of the Qur’anic moral values.

Fear and love of Allah enables people to submit themselves to Him, to see the best in everything and to have compassion. In the verses Allah reveals how the only interest of concern to believers is His approval: “They fulfill their vows and fear a Day whose evil will spread far and wide. They give food, despite their love for it, to the poor and orphans and captives: ‘We feed you only out of desire for the Face of Allah. We do not want any repayment from you or any thanks. Truly We fear from our Lord a glowering, calamitous Day.’ So Allah has safeguarded them from the evil of that Day and has made them meet with radiance and pure joy.” (Qur’an, 76:7-11)

Our Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “He who goes to bed full when his neighbor is hungry is not one of us.” It is an important warning to all those believers who desire to earn Allah’s approval. Therefore, anyone aiming to earn Allah’s approval will not just settle for a solution to his own problems; he will also assume responsibility for resolving the problems of others around him in need.

This may of course require people to give up things they love or to sacrifice their own comfort. The way that Muslims look to protect and watch over the poor by giving alms, help people in need by canceling their debts and spend their possessions on Allah’s path, rather than accumulating and hoarding them, are moral virtues bestowed by the ethical values of the Qur’an.

Responding to people’s needs and treating them kindly are forms of behavior that prevent atrophocation of the conscience. Empathizing with others, treating the needy with affection and showing respect and love make it possible to eliminate cruelty and selfishness. Verses reveal that the reward for good behavior comes in the Presence of Allah: “Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him. Be good to your parents and relatives and to orphans and the very poor, and to neighbors who are related to you and neighbors who are not related to you, and to companions and travelers and your slaves. Allah does not love anyone vain or boastful.” (Qur’an, 4:36)

Faith perfects people’s behavior, as it does so many other traits. A believer who constantly heeds his conscience as required by religious moral values will always behave in the best, most considerate, trust-inspiring and tolerant manner.

Someone possessed of these moral attributes has earned merit for his own life in the hereafter. At the same time, he is instrumental in freeing the world from its self-interested and selfish nature, and making it a place of the delights of Islam.

Relationship killers..

COMMUNICATION, TRUTHFULNESS, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, WORK AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP MATTERS…

Today i would like if we concentrated on these very important keynotes..

Have you at some point started feeling like you are the resident dart board..

with no proof or evidence, everything you do and say with no second thought gets questioned and turned into a negative.

everything bad that HAPPENS becomes your fault, or The “because of you” one liner gets tossed around, you are an easy target because you choose to deal with every situation passively, then TODAY’S piece is just for you..

Perception:

We all process relationships, may it be work or personal, through our very own perceptions and in saying that, when we relate to someone only through our own perception, it becomes one-dimensional and a tad unfair, leaving us with a very warped view of reality.

As perception maybe a reality, it may not be, “actuality” or rather (living in reality). There is a big difference between ones perception and the raw truth. External influence and internal dialogue shape perception. No truth can ever be influenced, therefore the truth will remain just that to us all, the bitter truth. When incidents start getting related as we want it percieved, we lose sight of the actual picture, we become so fixated on only our story, and that becomes the biggest relationship killer of all time. Relationships need a 360-degree view to bloom. People outside the relationship who have nothing to lose or gain by bringing truth to the conversation can often help. This is the power of positive coaching.

Assumption:

We are all guilty of making assumptions of the people with whom we are in relationships with, like i said earlier, it could be work or personal. If i put away r5 for every time i heard “they always” or “they never”, i would be a millionaire. In most instances, we assume things about others without thinking of how our cheap behind close doors chit-chat would affect them nor do we take time out to ask them what reality or their side of the story is. And i find this most hilarious, as to how quick we are to jump on our high horses, that to with no fact, make assumptions and pass judgement based purely on what we may have heard or what we expect the truth to be. That right there is a class act relationship killer. Our assumptions are often based on our own experiences and perceptions. Right or wrong, this actually says more about you and your character than about the one, you judged or made an assumption about. Making an assumption, simply means passing judgement, good or bad. Off late i have been observing, “When people get defensive for a lie caught out, or offended about a truth, that is when the act of assuming and judging steps right in.” Many of our offences actually come from assumption and not from “really what happend” or simply “reality of a matter”. Someone may say something to you and because you assume you know what he or she meant, you get offended, create a scene without thinking first and when realise it was you that was wrong in the first place, you rather cut ties and sever the relationship. Instead, we should seek understanding, ask questions, or get advice from someone outside the relationship to see the full picture and gain full knowledge, from a perspective unknown to us rather than someone waiting to fuel heated coal.

Expectations:

We tend to expect alot from people we are in relationships with. The problem arises when we refuse to ask rather than rely on those expectations. Based on our perception and assumptions, we will often put an unachievable expectation on someone, to what we want, when we want because we can do just that, expect. Every relationship must have negotiation and communication within it to be healthy and have an understanding as well as the freedom to be able to set boundaries and still remain in that relationship, now that is the place to school each other on what to expect and what not to. When those expectations are not based on reality and agreement, they to become relationship killers and i say this because our expectations often come from a place of hurt or broken trust or simply the need to feel superior, it becomes impossible for the other person to achieve them. If we do not know what we want, how can we expect any other person to have knowledge of that? And that is were i recommend communication and agreement for clarity. This gives you both an opportunity to share your hearts and helps also achieving the expectation in UNITY.

Every relationship, regardless of the intimacy level, whether at work or home suffers from these three killers! We are not even aware we are doing this, it takes conscience effort to overcome the tendency.

Three transparent ways to bury relationship killers:

Invite someone you trust and discuss your tendencies in these three areas with that person. Ask him or her to hold you accountable by pointing out when they see you doing it, privately of course. Meet regularly to go over or vent about your actions.
Correct your mistakes by talking to the people you have offended in these ways. Ask for forgiveness and invite them to share their hearts so you can understand them better and also lean were you may have gone wrong. This is not easy, but very powerful.
Soul-search, introspect and look deep within your heart to understand why you do this. Perhaps seek counsel to dig up some roots to allow healing to happen in your heart. When you deal with the deeper issues in your heart, these three relationship killers lose their power in your life.

I would like to end leaving you with this thought.

We do not have to look to far to see the pain that often comes from broken relationships, we have all experienced it. Rather then being defensive and hiding behind a lie to cover up your bad choice, work at it. Rather than putting others down to look good, work on were you went wrong and how you can fix it. If you know you are working hard and tirelessly, do not seek gratification from your peers, do not demand acknowledgement, rather let your hard work, success and silence speak for you, It is far less painful to work on these issues than it is to walk away. We all carry the baggage from the last relationship to the next one, so let’s us make sure it is good luggage.

Like i said last week, we are all merely dots on a very long line of dots that need to be in sync to create something unique and rare, and that can only be done by working in harmony but most importantly working honestly in sync with good intention with dots before and and after you. Be a humble, connect in a peaceful manner, no picture is ever complete if one dot suddenly goes out of sync.

Accept Fault when it is yours.

Let every mistake/bad choice you make be a stepping stone to the next good choice, and it is absolutely imperative that in any relationship we practise “Patience, Gratitude and the intention to constantly strive toward an honest intention”

Remember relationships do Matter…

Paradise.. A sincere prayer away!!!

We all make mistakes in our lives…. It’s only natural!!!

At some point or another, we do commit a sin or two, maybe even ten…

Knowingly or Unknowingly!!!

We are only human and without thought we tend to tread of the path for a while.

What do we do when we realise we were wrong?

How do we ensure that our repentance is sincere, consistent and successful?

THE MOST IMPORTANT ACTIONS WOULD BE TOO:

Stop our wrongful deeds/actions.
Show remorse deeply and truly for the sin committed. In this instant regret is a good thing.
Return to Allah ta’allah for forgiveness.
Make a strong intention never to repeat those actions.
Lastly:
If the sin involved infringing on the rights of other people, then we must return the infringed rights back to the individual to whom they belong.

Many people may find that their repentance begins strong, but then slowly gets weaker as it reached that peak of pure powerful tear filled dua and they fall back into committing the sin only a short while later. To ensure that we stay true to our repentance and keep our promises to Allah ta’allah, our Ibadah has to be consistent…

Believe that Allah ta’allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful

I have heard so many say “there’s no point in stopping my sin because I’ve wronged so much I don’t deserve Allah ta’Allah’s forgiveness, He will never forgive me.” If you are one of those people then STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

How can you think that way, when Allah ta’Allah says in the Holy Qur’an over and over again that He is All-Forgiving and Most Compassionate? How can you lose faith in Allah ta’Allah’s mercy? He created you and He knows your weaknesses and your faults. Everyone in the world makes mistakes, what makes you the best, is turning to Allah ta’Allah and begging most sincerely for His forgiveness..

We must never think that Allah ta’Allah will not ever forgive us. Repent with sincerity and remember that Allah ta’Allah loves His most obedient servants…

Allah ta’Allah will accept your plea for his forgiveness and mercy…

Pinpoint the Source of Your Sin

There are many types of sins. No matter how big or small a sin is, once we decide to give it up and want to successfully repent to Allah ta’Allah it is of utmost importance for us to locate the main source of this sin and keep away from it to the best of our ability. The source may be a friend, a certain place that you go to get away from it all, at your computer alone or watching tv alone. If the sin is related to the computer or the TV or other such appliances, we should not eliminate them completely from our lives. Instead we should try to find a way that helps us use these resources for good rather than evil. It is always good to try and have people around you when using these resources so that you feel stronger and surround yourself with people who remind you to stay on the right path, for it is always easy to go astray when alone and vulnerable.

If you find that the source of the sin is a friend, then you should cut ties with this friend. It will not always be an easy task, but rather of vital importance that it must be done, and do it for the sole pkeasure of Allah ta’allah and He will reward you immensely for it In sha Allah. Ameen.

If the sin is more like missing prayers or not fasting in Ramadan, we may try to pinpoint the reason we commit the sin. It may be, that your mind is occupied with other things which are distracting you from the fundamental worship of Allah ta’Allah, In this case we should try to eliminate these distractions from our lives or try to organise our time to sustain balanced lives which include our ibadah into our lives daily. Using the daily taskinator to plan and organise your day, can really help you stay on track with keeping your Ibadah in check.

Rally Your Support Team

The people around you have a huge impact on the way you behave. At a time when you want to repent to Allah ta’allah and you sincerely feel bad about the sins that you have committed, you don’t want to be alone. You may find that your family can be a HUGE support for you at times like this. They can remind you of what you are trying to do. They will listen to you and support you through all your struggles to give up your sin.

Friends are also really important. I cannot stress enough how important it is to choose your friends wisely. Peer pressure is real. Even if you think that you are strong and you will not fall again, your friends can pressure you into returning to what you used to do.

Your friends should be those who support you in whatever you do and better yet, they join you and work with you towards the goal of becoming a better person. They encourage you to attend lectures and workshops, and join you in volunteering for good causes.

The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. [Qur’an: Chapter 9, Verse 71]

Most importantly, at times when you are feeling weak and fear that you may go back to sinning, your friends should be there to help you get back up, steadfast and stay strong.

Allah’s Messenger Nabi sallalahu alayhi wasalaam said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” [Bukhari]

You could find good company by becoming a regular at your local mosque and socialising with the people you meet there. You can also attend public lectures to find like-minded friends. You are guaranteed to find practicing Muslims who are willing to be part of your support system. Even in your own home, be open with your family – mother, father, siblings or spouse – about the changes you want to make in your life and ask for their help!

Stay Connected

The last and final point stresses on how important it is for you to stay connected with Islam and the Muslim Ummah. It is very uplifting for the soul when you are surrounded by Muslims seeking knowledge together and worshipping together. Make an effort to visit the mosque regularly and attend Islamic lectures and workshops. Keeping yourself busy with useful Islamic events and surrounded with the Islamic community takes your mind off the worldly things, which may trigger your urge to commit the sin once more.

Staying connected also helps your connection to Allah ta’allah. Reading the Qur’an regularly and performing your Salaah on time, including the sunnah prayers, keeps the connection lines between Allah ta’Allah and yourself strong.

Once you feel that Islam encompasses all parts of your life and that you are truly close to Allah ta’allah, it will be hard for shaytan to drag you back to your old sins. However, always remember to continuously keep asking Allah ta’alah for guidance and protection. Keep asking for His forgiveness as He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

No matter what sins you have committed, there is always a way to repent and start afresh. Always have faith in Allah ta’alah, fear His wrath and love Him for His mercy. Surround yourself with as much support and motivation as you possibly can and keep your intentions clear but most importantly clean and pure. May Allah ta’alah support us all on our journey through the right path, keep us steadfast in our beautiful Deen, keep us as his beautiful ummah close, but most importantly guide us to a pure transparent Nafs AMEEN.. Ya Rabbul Alameen….

Love was never meant to be perfect, it just needed to be true..

She lived a meaningful life.. Until!!!!

Everyday was a blessed and beautiful day, she was carefree, a free spirit most would call her, so happy that people thought it was a facade of some sort..

A facade,

No way was it any front, she was naturally full of life and umphhh…

She did not merely exist, she loved her life, she woke up everyday knowing that her every new day was to be the best day of her life and so she lived free and happy, knowing that nothing else was important nor mattered because she was the captain of that ship and she chose her Destiny..

Until one day…

The day that would be the end of all that happiness and self worth, the day she would so unconsciously stop living for herself but start living for someone else, the day that would teach her ever so harshly that the life she chose to live was going to be nothing more than a fragment of her imagination…

The day she would finally be introduced to that very petrifying four letter word called “LOVE”..

She never knew anything like this before, was she selfish in choosing to love ALLAH first and then be solely true to herself second, wanting to find true and pure love within, before having the need to explore that emotion with someone else…

She was to learn a very grave lesson because not everyone would love as truly, madly or deeply as this pure soul would, she was to pay for hurt caused by total strangers and still have to learn how to live through that, was this fair to her? Did she really deserve all that you will now learn she went through? Was this pure true soul deserving of such selfish, self centred love? She endured it only for the sake of ALLAH… She like anyone who believed, believed that love was a beautiful gift handed to everyone by Allah…

And as usual everything starts amazing, the late night, early morning calls, those texts that would melt you by just looking at them, all those crazy in love emoji’s, the sharing of love songs, with such powerful meaning, but sadly no pure intent, the mushy phrases that played repeatedly in her head, the hop she suddenly found in her step and all those feelings, those feelings that just left her weak and unguarded, tearing down those walls of protection with one fell swoop.. This poor soul clearly had no idea that the honeymoon only ever did last that long..

The first meeting, hmmm magical, that first kiss, knee jerking, and the call afterward emotional… How oblivious was she to the fact that all those sweet words were merely a trap… The second meeting even better than the first, dinner and talk of a future, how over-whelmed she felt knowing that there was actually a Prince charming made just for her… She never fathomed that their third meeting would be infront of an aalim, turning that love into halal love… That’s when all her beautiful dreams where to be turned harsh reality...

No sooner than she realised she was too find out that her Prince charming merely camouflaged himself in tinfoil, he was nothing more than a sweet talker, a smooth operator, a lustful boy who was about to reveal his true identity… A man he really was not, unlike her all he lived were for his own selfish desires…

Days went by and re-adjusting became a tad difficult, waking up to that awesome full of life feeling of life slowly crept away…

Weeks went by and she slowly slipped into severe depression, because this once bold and outspoken woman had to now become somewhat reserved, her opinions never mattered anymore, the only thing that did matter was how she would keep him happy, what she could do not to tick him off so he would not let his anger get the best of him… She had learnt in a very painful way to stop living for herself…

That Friday afternoon, after him deciding she deserved sometime, they sat side by side watching that chick flick she was surprised he chose, his phone beeped, not once, not twice but repeatedly, she tried not to pay attention, when it got much, she asked softly, aren’t you going to get that, his reply, looking all heated up, it’s not important…

And then it rang.. He answers very angrily,

I told you not to call, I’m busy he said and all she heard was a faint female voice crying on the other end… You promised you would, he replies very arrogantly, take your turn woman and hangs up…

Her heart stopped, she refused to want to believe that this guy, this amazing man who swept her off her feet belonged to others aswell… Was it possible???

She wracked her brain wondering… Eventually!!!

She mustered up the courage to ask, who was That?, he looked at her and then away, remaining angrily silent, she asks again, this time in a tone soft with fear, my love are you seeing someone else, at first he was quiet, his face turning a whole new shade of red, then he turned to look at her with such hate in his eyes and with anger he grabbed her and shoved up against the wall, at that moment her every dream came crashing down, her hope of true love fell into a million pieces, pieces she knew would never be able to be picked up ever … at that moment the pain she felt was beyond just physical…

He let go after a few seconds of having her pinned by the throat against the wall, she fell to the floor and that’s when she was to come face to face with her greatest fear of all time.. Fear of facing her angry husband..

All knowing that his wife was expecting their twins, with poisonous anger and one swift motion his foot had placed itself in her bulging abdomen, she lay on the floor breathless, in shock and the worst part was that he kept at it, until he saw her lifeless body not moving…

She lay there pale and gasping for every breath she could take, tears streamed over the side of her face as he leaned over to pick her up, and with a smirk saying, i am the man in this relationship and you will never question who I see and don’t…

Grabbing her by the throat he squeezes so hard that her gasping gets more intense, she weakens out, her body slumping into shock, her face turning blue, he kept at squeezing all because she asked is there someone else… The gasping suddenly stops.. Her already lifeless body losing the last not of its Will, she stopped breathing…

He let go, and her lifeless body fell to the ground, you deserved that he screamed, he screamed at her lifeless body, not realising at point he had been telling at a corpse, minutes passed and with him sitting on the couch holding his head, he finally picks up his head to look at his wife, he called out her name, once, twice and a third name, she never replied, or looked at him with her beautiful smile, he walked over to her looking down at her and right then and there it washed over him, what had he done… He fell to his knees grabbing her lifeless body, why did you have to question me, you knew regardless I made you my wife, they never mattered only you did and he sobbed knowing that he was never going to see her smile again…

OH ALLAH WHAT HAVE I DONE.. He cried..

Has my love for lust really taken my one true love from Me, oh Allah what have I done…

It was too late, his greedy lustful behaviour had ended the life of a beautiful Soul.. And unborn innocent souls that had clearly no chance of experiencing life… That day he took the life of a woman he vowed to love and protect and the life of his unborn children, a huge part of him died that day too, and all because that beautiful soul had asked a question she had every right asking…

Remember my dear brother, if it is not good for her, it should never be good for you, think and think harder before making a true woman pay the price for your inability to be faithful, more importantly, never take a good woman for granted, regret can be a very painful thing to live with…

Always bare in mind that love does not have to be perfect it simply had to be true…

The end of their beautiful journey..

20 June 2002, a day she never knew would change her life in the most drastic and unchangeable way…

It was a very dull and dreary Thursday morning, she woke up as usual around 5 am, showered, read fajr salaah with her dad, got ready for work and was on her way out to start her rat race once again for that new day, her dad walked her up to the bus stop and saw her off, she really could not understand why saying goodbye to him on that specific morning felt so intensely painful, tears welled up in her eyes but she was sitting on a bus full of people so she had to fight it and just contain the sadness she felt..

The routine morning briefing with her boss, the meet and greet with all her office mates, and as she walked back to her office she felt the need to just break down and cry, all these emotions of sadness so new to her, she gets to the office door and shuts it behind her only to have her tears gush out, moments later she muscled up, took out her Yaseen the one that dad had given to her and she read, and that’s how her day had went, crying or reading Yaseen..

During zohr salaah, she found herself asking for Allah to protect her dad, keep him safe, to bless him and that made her even more emotional… As she had very attached to this amazing man…

The rest of that very painful day had dragged on, minute after minute all she thought of was her dad, and so at exactly 4pm she picked up the phone to call her mom like she everyday…

To her amazement dad answers, hey dad, how are she went onto asking him, and so that conversation went on with him telling her about how hard he had worked that day cleaning the garden and pruning all his trees (a secret about her dad, his garden was his pride and joy), then went onto saying to her, what will people think when they all come here and see an untidy yard…

What people dad, she asked..

He paused, and seconds later went onto saying to her, girl (now that was his pet name for his little girl) you have to be strong for yourself, stand up for what is right like I always taught to and don’t let me down, Not now not ever, by this time she had choked up so badly she could not hold back her tears…

Dad, are you okay she asked, and his reply was, please come home quickly daddy is waiting for you…

By this time a million things had been running through her mind, the anxiety kicked in and her breathing became deep and painful…

Dad I must go now but i will be home soon i promise, and right at that second, the second before cutting the call…

Her dad called out to her in a very soft sad tone, girl remember daddy loves You, I may have never said it before but you know dad loves you very much and thank you for always being so caring to me.. By now she felt her heart sink, girl please be strong for you and mummy, be the soldier I know you are he said and before she said anything he hung up, at that point her heart racing uncontrollably, all she could think of was getting home, so she ran a to the lift got downstairs and took off her shoes and ran aimlessly down lorne street, nearly getting knocked but that did not stop her, she just continued running, she had no idea why, all she knew was that she had to get home, getting to West street drenched and just in time to get the last bus home, the entire way home she sobbed silently, as the bus drove past her home and not seeing dad at the stop waiting for her she panicked more…

She gets off the bus and runs home, to walk in and see her beloved father walking down the passage to greet her, smiling but at the same time running his left shoulder, dad are you okay, she asked as he hugged her, yes I’m okay, just feeling a little discomfort and indigestion he replied… Where is the eno’seno’ s he asked, in the cupboard dad as she walked off into her bedroom…

Five minutes into putting her bag down and sitting on her bed, she hears a heavy thud, almost as though something had fallen really hard, she ran out her room and to her horror she sees her dad lying back flat on the floor of their sunroom, dad, she screamed, running to him, by that time her mom had already picked up his head, she grabs her dad’s feet, daddy no, she cried painfully, calling 911 with her dad laying on the floor, the agent answers and she cries to him to send an ambulance, by this time the agent, who being Muslim, tried to calm her asking her how her dad had been breathing, and all she said was my daddy’s feet are cold, his breathing from his tummy upward, 1 deep breath, the second breath slightly less deep and the last breath shallow and all she heard the guy on the phone say, please read his kalima and so she did dropping the receiver and grabbing her beloved fathers feet, a smile on his face and his head falls to the side, her mom’s calls out to him but there’s no response…

Moments later the paramedics arrive, ma’am could you kindly give us some space to work with the patient, so quickly hooking her dad to the heart machines, trying to shock him, adrenalin injection after the other…

She watched anxiously sobbing hard praying that her worst nightmare, had has become reality, and that’s when the paramedic comes to her mom, I am so sorry ma’am, we did what we could but his gone…

Silence befell both her and her mom, everything around them stopped and suddenly what felt like a warm loving home at that very painful moment felt like an ice cold morgue…

They both walked over to him laying lifeless on the ground, she fell to her knees and put her head on his chest, nothing, no movement, nothing, daddy please don’t daddy she cried, and right then and there she realised that was she was alone, no daddy, no best friend, no confidante, her whole life came crashing to a million irreplaceable pieces…

A day that changed her, changed her life, a day a very big part of her died too and a day she had no choice but to soldier up and move forward because that was the day Allah had taken away the one person who got her, who understood her, who trusted and loved her beyond condition or measure…

That was the day she had to learn how to be her own best friend… She had to learn the hard way how to fend for herself, she had to start making her own decisions and choices as daddy was no more… Daddy was no more to hold her hand and to guide her through this cruel deceptive life…

20 June 2002.. The day that had changed her life forever…

The end of their beautiful journey…

Gone but never forgotten…

The advice and motivation I bring you today…

For those of you who have both parents treasure them, it is not always that either your mom or dad will always be justified in decisions, or how they love you and your siblings, some may feel that one kid is favored over the other, let it be, make your own way in this world, learn to fend for yourself whilst their still here so you don’t have to scratch your head later on after their gone.. Forgive them, make dua for them, and always wish the best for them as they are human too…

To those whom have lost a parent like myself or maybe even both parents, be grateful for the love and good teachings the one May have given you or the tough love the other gave You, remember in that pain you felt feeling neglected and like you you loved less, there was a wise lesson too…

Today i stand tall and walk proud thanks to the wise words of my late father, I can decipher right from wrong and I know better than to hurt anyone to get my way, I am a survivor only coz he dumped me in the deep end and even though he was with me in spirit I felt him pull me through my trials and tests, thank you my beloved father for handing me the right tools to be the best version of me…

Regret can be a very painful emotion to live with, so try your very best not to live with regret, ever..

You were my confidante, my bestie and my one true love…

And today I can say I know you were the best Dad any kid could have asked for… I pray that Allah Ta’Allah Grant you Jannah my beloved father…

Pride.. A very deadly vice!!!

The disease of pride and arrogance deletes all traces of goodness and piety. This is the worst vice in causing havoc to Deen and a regrettable disease to have for the believers of this perfect and exalted religion. It launches a direct attack on beliefs and principles. If ignored and overlooked for sometime it becomes fatal and incurable, and gives rise to other spiritual maladies and vices… which are no less than 4 in number, as i will now mention…

1. Being deprived of truth and truthfulness. The heart becomes blind to the verse dealing with knowledge about Allah. It is a very grievous vice in which the mind of a man becomes dull and impervious to the understanding of Deen…

2. The wrath and punishment of Allah fall on the jealous person, Allah certainly does not love the proud at heart…

It is narrated that Hazrat Moosa AS, asked Allah: “Oh my Lord! Who is the most deserving of your wrath and displeasure?” Allah Ta’aala told him:

“ It is he whose heart is filled with pride and his tongue is filthy (i.e. Abusive), his eyes are devoid of shame, his hands are miserly and he is of bad conduct and character.

3. Allah will put the proud to disgrace and ill-repute (dishonour) in the Hereafter.

Hazrat Hatim Asam (rahmatullahi alaihi) has said: “Do not die in a state of pride, greed and arrogance.”

Allah does not cause a proud human being to meet his/her death unless he/she is disgraced and dishonoured by his own family, relatives and servants.

Similarly the greedy does not meet their death unless they become destitute for a morsel of food and a drop of water.

In the same way the arrogant person does not meet his own death unless being polluted with his own excrement and urine.

4. The proud renders himself liable to Hell in the Hereafter. It occurs in a Hadith Qudsi:

“Pride is My cloak and grandeur is my trousers. If anyone disputes with Me in any one of these (two) I shall admit him into the Hell-fire.”

In the other words, pride and grandeur are two exclusive attributes of Allah, which none is allowed to apply and ascribe towards himself.

It is imperative to refrain from such a dangerous and deadly calamity which leads to loss of knowledge of Allah, inability to understand the commands of Allah, His displeasure, disgrace in this world and the Hereafter and painful torment therein. No wise person can be neglectful in the matter of such a harmful and destructive calamity.

We should, therefore, try to save ourselves from this and seek refuge from Allah.

This is a brief account of the some if not the most poisionous calamities, mentioned in the beginning. Each of these detrimental adversities are very harmful and dangerous in the sight of those wise and knowledgeable people who are aware of the importance of the reforming of ones heart.

Those are the four disease and vices that stem from having pride. How many of us are there that can honestly say, without deceiving ourselves that we are free of this hated ailment?

Not many, is the answer. It is imperative that we take heed, that we bear in mind the punishment promised by Allah Ta’ala to those with pride in their hearts.

Pride as a sin is incorrectly considered to be insignificant and minute in comparison to other major sins, by a vast majority of people. It may be that compared to the major sins like murder and associating partners with Allah, it is slightly inferior. But that is only because of the magnitude of those particular sins that pride is considered a lesser sin.

In a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (SWA) it is narrated that,

“Whosoever has in his heart, even a atom of pride he will not enter paradise.”

In observing the above Hadith, it is of utmost importance that we get rid of this spiritual malady, if we hold any illusion or hope of entering paradise.

Remember that we do claim to be the followers and believers of Islam and we claim to be Muslims, so how then can we still pride ourselves with poisonous pride, For the very meaning of Islam is to submit totally and unconditionally to the worship of the Supreme Being, Allah Ta’ala and as Muslims it is incumbent upon us to get rid of every drop of pride, superiority and haughtiness within us, as we are small and inferior and basically nothing in comparison to the Supreme Divine Fashioner, if such comparison can be made. Let us try and act upon the very essence of our religion and our adjective as Muslims and submit and surrender ourselves to the worship and pleasure of Allah Ta’ala… And Allah Ta’ala only, Ameen…

Stop taking things for granted..

We are all so much more fortunate than we give ourselves credit for. We constantly so preoccupied with thoughts of things we don’t have and experiences we are missing out on.

We need to learn to be appreciative and grateful for everything we have and everything that is written for us to receive. If we all stopped for a moment and looked around us, we would find endless things we have that others are not as fortunate to have. People complain constantly about having an outdated model of a car or phone when we should just be grateful we have these things in the first place.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow.”

You really do not know how good you have it until it’s gone. In relationships, people tend to get too comfortable and as a result becoming bored and complacent. This can result in infidelity and the destruction of the very foundation of that relationship. Only until after the relationship has been ruined does this person realize the terrible, irreversible mistake they have made and cannot undo. At this point it becomes too late, this person failed to realize how fortunate they were and as a result destroyed what they loved.

People are unfortunately in life-altering accidents everyday. If you take something for granted, you don’t worry or think about it because you assume you will always have it. Some of these people will never have the ability to walk again, something we take for granted on a daily basis. Tragedies like this should make us re-examine and re-evaluate our lives.

“Never take someone you love for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.”

Shouldn’t we just be happy we have food on the table and a roof over our heads? So many people in the world would do anything for these things, but we still complain everyday that we do not have enough.

We take advantage of the people in our lives, like our friends and family. We make the fatal mistake of assuming that these people will just be there for us without providing extra effort. A person who is not grateful toward their parents is one who has taken their love for granted.

“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.”

This is a natural occurrence that happens to everyone in his or her life. It is a default mode we all get into when we become complacent in different aspects of our lives. We need to regain the consciousness of the things in life we have become so accustomed to. Imagine how hard life would be if we didn’t have access to the Internet or to food or to clean drinking water. When you make yourself aware of how blessed you really are, that is when you learn to appreciate the “little” things in life.

Life is too short to waste our time thinking about what we do not have. We obviously can survive without them, we have made it this far. Things do not make us happy, it is how we feel within ourselves that really matters. What you get out of your every moment depends entirely upon your attitude toward life. The things that truly provide happiness are usually right in front of us. What we need to do it continuously remind ourselves where we would be without them.

“Never fail to appreciate someone who cares for you. Just because they are always in your life to help in some way, never fail to give thanks or recognition. To value someone or something too lightly is a risk no one should take.”

In order to achieve wanting only the things and people that you have you need to look into the positive things you gain from having these people or things around you. What we so easily take for granted, others are praying for.

Do we truly understand what it means to be enough..

You are enough.

I believe that, that you are enough, just as you are, just as you were meant and made to be…

However i want to be clear about what it may or may not mean…

Because “you are enough” does not mean that you have been measured, considered even judged, and through those mediums, you have finally earned the label of “enough.”

It does not mean that you have worked long enough, tried hard enough, presented well enough. It simply is who you are. The you that you are, is enough.

You do not have to be more, do more, or even buy more to be who you are meant to be…

Now that is what i mean by saying, “you are enough”…

You are enough does not mean that you are a final product, complete and finished, all done growing and changing and learning things forevermore…

Nor does it mean that you are all-powerful and perfect, either…

You are enough does not mean that you are everything...

The pursuit of enough flies in the face of the pursuit of everything. Having a good grasp on “enough” means you do not have to get everything, and you certainly do not have to be everything…

You are enough does not mean that you have to be self-sufficient. It does not mean that you do not need anyone or anything else…

It means you understand how much you do need, how small you are in this great, grand, magnificent universe, and that you do not have to be even one inch bigger than that…

You are enough absolutely does not mean that you never need help…

When you know you are enough, it becomes easier to ask for help. It is easier to admit your weaknesses…

You know that your imperfections and your difficulties do not reflect on your worth, because you are already enough, just as you are…

You are enough does not mean that you are flawless, or that you never make mistakes.

You know that you make mistakes. You know that I make mistakes. I make mistakes every single day. I am aware of my flaws even before my feet hit the floor every morning…

That does not mean that my flaws are the true’st, most important thing about me, it just means that i acknowledge them…

I acknowledge their presence and i know they exist…

Hi, flaws!

(YOU ARE MINE)

If “being enough” means “being perfect,” then you are enough is just another reason to hide your true self. You hear that kind of “you are enough,” and you think: well! I know i am not perfect, so either i am not enough, or i have the urge to hide who i really am…

No…

You are enough means that you were made to be YOU, as YOU are, on purpose… Allah taal’ah never created imperfection, we create imperfect images by negativity, we eat, breath and live with…

It is no mistake that you are this person, in this place, at this time by mistake…Your presence at this particular time has valid purpose…

You are enough as you are, mess and all, beautiful and broken, showing up for your life every day…

That is all you have to be and all you have to do…

You are already enough…

You are enough means you can grow and change and continue to become, because you are not trying to prove yourself and that to anyone but yourself…

You are enough means that you do not have to strive to become more worthy, more valid, more acceptable, or more loved…

You already are all of those things…

You just need to believe that…

There are things you might want to be more of. More open. More honest. More true. More authentic. More free. More connected. More intentional. More purposeful. Those are all expressions of your enough-ness. They are not about changing yourself, they are however about being your trueself…

You were enough before, you are enough now, and you will continue to be enough as you become more of who you were made to be…

Now my dearest, that is what i mean when i say that you are enough…

And you are…

Your attitude towards life will determine life’s attitude toward you..

Joe was the kind of guy you would love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. Anyone that ever enquired on how he was doing?

His reply was always, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a unique human being, anyone that ever worked with him was proof to the cheer and goodwill he spread…

The reason Joe was so loved and respected was simply because of his attitude toward life..

He was a natural motivator. If any employee had been having a bad day, Joe was there telling them the importance of looking at the positive side of the situation..

Seeing this positivity really made a few sceptics curious..

And so one day Saif one of Joe’s good friends and an employee, went up to Joe and asked him, “I don’t get it, I just don’t get it bro.. It’s simply impossible for anyone to be this positive all of the time.

How do you do it?

Joe replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Joe, you have two choices today.

You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood..

I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” Saif protested.

“Yes it is,” Joe said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line is, It is a choice you need to make and that choice will determine how you live your life..

Saif reflected on what Joe said. Soon thereafter, Saif left the restaurant industry to start his own business..

Joe and Saif lost touch, but Saif often thought about Joe when Saif made a choice about life instead of reacting to it..

Several years later, Saif heard that Joe did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. WhilsWhilst trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The armed robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Joe was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Joe was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body..

SAIF saw Joe about six months after the accident. When Saif asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I would be twins. Wanna see my scars?”

Saif declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Joe replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

“Weren’t you scared?

Did you lose consciousness?” Saif asked. Joe continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man. ” I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” Saif asked.

“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” chuckled Joe. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Joe lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. Saif learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

And your attitude toward life certainly determines life’s attitude toward you…

Happiness..

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his life would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Swans swam around gracefully, whilst kids sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

The moral of my piece today is…There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can’t buy.

“SOMETIMES TO FACE YOUR FUTURE YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF YOUR PAST.”

Would you like to follow your heart, but your mind won’t let you..

Would you like to follow your heart, but your mind or something else is stopping you?

Does it feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and maybe even confusing to follow your heart?

What you maybe experiencing is normal and very common when choosing to follow your heart. It is a sign that you are heading in the right direction, because your mind and body are making adjustments to a new way of being and living.

Your mind wants proof that heart-centered living works. The only problem is that you will not get proof until you start to follow your heart.

It will feel awkward and weird at first, like anything new, but once you see that your heart is leading you on exactly the path you need, your mind will automatically begin to trust.

The battle between your mind and your heart, when you are a novice in heart-centered matters, it will naturally feel safer to follow your mind.

This sense of comfort is an illusion, because if you look at your past, you see that solely following your mind has not helped you create the life you truly want.

This is what i discovered when i began listening to my heart. I was miserable, pessimistic and always proud of my impeccable logic.

Your heart, however, is connected to something bigger than you. You may call it spirit, the unconscious, god, higher-self, or the universe.

I don’t worry too much about what label to put on it. What i care about are the results it produces in my life.

The Art of Not-Knowing..

Now dont get me wrong, im not telling you to kill your mind, it has its uses. I am simply saying that you need to aim for a more balanced approach.

Let your heart and mind integrate and work as a team. When you follow your heart more, and your mind sees the results, the integration naturally occurs.

However, you have to take that initial leap of faith to get the process going. We have been taught that we should know everything before we do anything.

We spend our lives avoiding the unknown, but the truth of the matter is that you really don’t have to know everything to know enough.

You only have to know your next step, and the next step can be given to you by listening to your heart.
It may come as a gentle nudge, a thought, a feeling, or even a song on the radio.

Taking action..

You have probably seen others follow their hearts. It looks good, but that may leave you doubting your own abilities.

You may even look at other people living their passion with balance and think that you would never be able to do that. They must have some kind of magical ability, right?

They must be better than you in some way. But they are not. They have simply learned how to listen to their hearts and consider those around them.

They are not fearless. They simply take things one day at a time, one step at a time. They feel fear, overwhelm, and confusion, just like you.

The difference is that they have developed the trust in themselves, just like you are doing right now, to overcome fears and work with them.

The fact that you are feeling what you are feeling now is a sign that you are heading in the right direction, because “negative” feelings will always be there to greet you when you embark on a path worth traveling.

Always remember that.

Following your heart..

I cannot give you the exact steps for following your heart, because your signals will differ from mine, but what i can do is share what my experiences have been.

Most people overlook messages from their heart because they are looking in the wrong direction. If you only focus on the grass on the other side, your’s will not get greener..

Keep your eyes open and your focus wide, because you never know where your heart will nudge you..

What i do is stay open to suggestions and notice how things or loved ones feel. Most of the time it may not feel right, or something will feel off, so i either say no, or decide to wait.

Sometimes you may feel uncertain. If that is tge case, explore the opportunity further and see how things go and how they feel.

There will always be enough opportunities. Saying no does not mean missing out, because there will be other moments coming along. That is where balance falls into place.

Communicate with your mind..

Being right all the time is not always the best option..
I do my best to trust my heart, but sometimes the feelings and nudges i get are not authentic.

By this i mean that i can misinterpret what they are all about. Sometimes the messages from my heart can be clouded by the emotions i feel inside.

I am okay with that. I know that i will not get it right all the time, and this small amount of uncertainty adds a bit of spice to my life.

Sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it isn’t. It’s all a part of the game we call life.

The more you follow your heart, the better you get at it. It’s like with anything else, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about learning and trusting the process.

That’s the way i see it.

You will not always be right, but you will always be heading in the right direction, even when you feel like you are not.

Your life is changing..
The fact that you have taken the time to read this means that something inside of you is looking for a change. You are already changing inside, and you can feel it, can’t you?

This happened to me in my late teens. I knew that I was not heading in the right direction. Something had to change, and it did.

It did not happen overnight, but as i put one foot in front of the other, change took place, and i discovered what passionate living is all about.

And while you may feel confused from time to time, know that it’s just a sign that you are growing and evolving in the best way for you.

There is a reason why you read this.

Something resonates with you, and you may not even know what it is, and that’s okay.

The positive feeling inside is a message from your heart.

It’s a sign that you are already following your heart. You are already on the right path.

You already have what it takes to live a heart-based life.

Now it’s entirely up to you to expand how much you listen to you heart, and that can only happen through listening and experimenting.

So have fun with it.

Words that burn..

These words can definitely burn.

The pain of regret can be more brutal than physical pain. Unfortunately, many of us live with some form of heartache whether we admit it publicly or not.

Now that I’m approaching midlife, and half of my years are over (if I’m blessed with a full life), this passage has intense meaning to me. Perhaps this is because there are so many more things I want to accomplish before the lights are turned out on me.

Do you have any unfulfilled experiences from your younger days? Do you wish you had done something different in the past instead of playing it safe? Do these memories still haunt you today?

You can choose not to live full of regret about the things you did not do earlier in life and can’t change today. It’s a healthy choice. BUT, this shouldn’t excuse you from doing the things you can do so that you may realize your full potential.

What is the one thing on your bucket list, that if accomplished today you would die feeling satisfied? If you already know what this is, the most important thing you can do for yourself is make carrying out this vision your primary focus in life.

Chances are you feel it’s unattainable, but what if it’s not? What steps can you take now towards the direction of fulfilling this promise to yourself?

The thing you daydream about is often difficult to realize because it may involve developing skills you don’t yet have. Or it might take an inordinate amount of time, effort, or money (or all of the above!)

What I know for sure is that taking daily steps towards achieving your goals will bring you progress. And experiencing progress in your life will bring you happiness and make you feel alive. So when you finally accomplish the thing you set out to do, it simply becomes the icing on the cake.

The true meaning of marriage..

Slms sister Mumtaaz

I am a 26 year female from Beirut and I would really appreciate if you could read out the following post that you posted up regarding marriage and why you chose the date of marriage and the significance, truth be told, I have honestly taken so much from what you described marriage as and I would love other females to take a leaf of that tree as most of us have the concept of marriage so wrong..

Ps: please read out as typed out. Thank you sister, love you for the sake of Allah, thanks to You, a schooled young female.

I am constantly asked by many why did you choose your marhoom father’s birthday as a wedding date, truth be told, Allah Ta’Allah created a beautiful baby boy named Ibrahim on this Day the 10th of May 1943… Why would he not bless a marriage that we had on this day too.. And what made it more special was that it fell on a Jumuah too, which so happened to have also been the birth of my dad on a Jumuah… What more can a daughter ask for..

He was not there to give me away but he will be here living on in us..

Ahmad Abdulatif you have been the pillar my family needed, the son my dad never had and a husband that words cant describe, we have both faultered along the way but nothing that did not make us stronger, there have been more tears and frowns and moment’s we were both so ready to give up, but I guess having Allah guide us, gave us the hidayah to keep moving forward with Love, understanding and aqlaaq..

How did this beautiful journey begin..

A friendship that started through a BBM bc, a nosy bugger for sure he was (still is) lol, to something beautiful stemming from “wife of the week” on his BBM status and Dp, to “wife for life”, whoever says soul mates and true love is a myth needs to really have it happen to understand that it does exist, however true love is not fault free, or shiny or even perfect, there are certainly ups and sometimes a lot more downs, a lot of doubt, mistrust and worst of all the self questioning, but when it all boils down, you just cannot imagine a life without that annoying, troublesome yet most lovable significant other, we have have been each other’s weakness, each other’s strenght, we have fought and we have cried, but it all worked out coz at the end of it all we laughed, and that is most important in any marriage, laughter. Allah knows what we been through to get to where we are and only HE knows the path that is paved for us going forward but one thing I am most certain of is that I will be walking that path with you… and only you my precious love..

I DEDICATE THIS FIRSTLY TO US AND THEN TO ALL MARRIED COUPLES..

Do we truly under the concept of marriage?

Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone. You see them when they are mad, sad, being stubborn, when they are so unlovable they make you want to scream. But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their cheeks, and they cannot help but let out those weird gurgling noises.

You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you are eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it is not always pretty. Its snorting while laughing, its the tears when it feels like it is all crashing down, it is the farting, it is the bedhead and morning breath, it is the random dances, it is the anger and the joy.

Marriage is not a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It is knowing that someone loves you so much, and will not leave you even though you said something nasty. It is having someone have your back no matter what. It is fights over stupid little things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it is those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them. It is cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they are sick. It is the dirtiest, hardest, yet most rewarding job there is.

Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know. Marriage is not beautiful, but it is one heaven of a ride. ❤️

Regrets – None at all…

Happy fifth Anniversary to us

Bring me down and watch GOD bless me..

There is absolutely so much I want to say RIGHT now… from a million thoughts running through my mind to skin erking pain running through my body, disgust and despair all in this moment. Wondering how people on one hand can claim and profess undying love and loyalty when it’s all one big lie…..

Have we really become that shallow and relentless that we would go so weak with one whispering of the fallen and run of our mouths like it was trained for some marathon…

Where is the sense of protection and respect gone..

Is a person not entitled to privacy and care anymore?

What gives any of us the right to tell of tales that are not ours to tell…

Where is the decency gone…

Allah has clearly stated cover the uncovered and I will cover you on the day of reckoning…

Sin and lie and I will blacken your face, decrease your rizq, i will set a darkness in your heart, i will weaken your body and i will set anamosity for you in the hearts of people..

Oh human are you not afraid of ALLAH’S severe punishment???

Have you forgotten that crystal clear warning direct from your Lord???

To all those telling someone else’s tale, ALMIGHTY will reveal yours!!!

To all those expecting, you will be sorely disappointed…

To all those listening to tales and fuelling the fire, remember our CREATOR has something so severe in-store for you, severe my dearest oh so very severe….

It takes a little to tear someone down, seconds to crush a persons respect and honor, but a whole lot to stand up and fight for someone who has publicly fallen, it takes very little to think the worst, but a whole lot to stop anyone who is doing someone wrong..

What would you choose to do, Oh human???

I will always make the conscious choice to be someone, (who rather a whole lot) tries to save something/someone uncovered.. I choose to be someone who saves a persons dignity rather than destroy it..

Judge less, make dua more, hurt less, love more, fight against each other less, fight more for what is pleasing to our LORD..

GOD created us soldiers to fight for his cause, not to turn against and fight each other so ruthlessly..

Why do we choose to turn this life into some unforsaken obstacle course, are we really expecting to graduate with some sort of doctrate or degree, just for messing up so graciously..

Only to receive GOD’S burning decree…

Have we stooped so low and elevated The Fallen’s Status..

Have we forgotten the beautiful teaching the glorious Quraan…

Why do we pray only to sin right after…

Why has unnatural sources become our new fix..

Oh dearest Talebearer, remember the act of human will only break a heart, but the wrath of GOD will burn the disbelieving, mischievous, uncontrollable soul…

Watch your thoughts for they become words.

Watch your words for they become actions.

Watch your actions for they become habits.

Watch your habits for they become character.

Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

Judging and defaming anyone does not define their character..

It only defines your’s..

Moral of my piece..

No matter what, never lose sight of GODS mercy..

Never cease to please for the pleasure of GOD..

And aim for the ultimate goal..

PARADISE!!!

Created to be amazing..

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

The Lord answered: “Have you seen my spec sheet on her….? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart – and she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded. “Only two hands!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“No,” the Lord protested. “I’m so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she’s sick AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.

“Yes, she IS soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

Then the angel noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into her.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

“It’s her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride,” said the Lord.

The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is!

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours, but they have many things in common. We have strengths that amaze men. We bear many hardships and carry heavy burdens, but we also hold happiness, love and joy in their hearts. We smile when we want to scream. We sing when we want to cry. We cry when we are happy and laugh when we are nervous.

We fight for what they believe in. We stand up to injustice. We don’t take “no” for an answer when we believe there is a better solution. We go without so our family can have. We go to the doctor with a frightened friend. We love unconditionally. We cry when our children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

We are happy when they we about a birth or a wedding. Our hearts break when a friend dies. We grieve at the loss of a family member, yet we are strong when we think there is no strength left. We know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

We drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much we care about you. Our hearts are what makes the world keep turning.

We bring joy, hope and love.

We have compassion and ideals.

We give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

IF WE HAVE ONE FLAW, IT’S THAT WE OFTEN DON’T REALISE OUR OWN WORTH.

Every choice has a consequence..

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Every action has a chain reaction, so remember what you put out will come back tenfold..

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests or setbacks as we so like to call them, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat & pebble free, road to no where.

It would be safe and comfortable.. Extremely dull and utterly pointless..

The people you meet who affect your life,

and the success and failures you experience,

help to create who you are, and who you strive hard to become.

Even bad experiences are lessons and bring hidden blessings.

In fact, they are probably the most poignant or heart rendering and imperative lessons one takes forward..

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, not for them but for you, for you to set yourself free, after all they did school you on trust and the importance of being cautious especially when planning to expose your heart..

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but they have entered your life by choice and bring a new blessing and lesson with them..

Make every day count..

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can..

For you may never be able to experience it again..

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, but most importantly listen, actually listen..

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high..

Hold your head up because you have every right to..

Walk tall Queen!!!

Tell yourself you are an amazing individual and believe in yourself,

for if you don’t believe in yourself, you cannot expect anyone else to believe in you..

Your life is your blank canvas, color it according to your exquisite taste..

Create your own identity and go live it with absolutely no regrets, with utmost truth and honour..

Most importantly, if you love someone tell them,

for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

And learn a lesson in life each day you live.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors as well as struggles in life.

Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to fight back in the struggle!

The dangers of assumptions..

One evening a man returned home from work and found his wife cooking, walked over to her and she smiled giving him a welcome home honey kiss..

They were truly so happy.

Whilst at the dinner table the woman’s cell phone beeped..

A good night message from a friend..

The husband saw the message and got really upset..

He at that point, chose not to talk about the matter but rather left the table without eating and in a fit of rage..

The woman looked up at her husband in amazement and thought,

No way, this is not right, you are not being fair, i see these things happening all the time, and i have to be okay with it, yet you are bothered by a simple message?

Oh no, dear husband i am not going after you this time, you are not a child.

She sighed, and completed her meal alone and went to bed. That night the couple had an angry sleep and turned their backs @ each other that night..

At midnight, the wife had been sweating and was burning up with fever.. She was unable to speak. She touched her husband’s back. He responded with his famous dont bother me attitude and pushed his wife’s hand away..

The woman without more air, died of heart attack that night..

In the morning, he woke up, took a bath and prepared his things to go to work.

The wife was still in bed, then the man looked at her and thought to himself, her cheek to be asleep till this late, however chose to ignore her, with the thought of I will not speak to her, until she does it first attitude..

Then, he dressed up, had breakfast and went to work.

In the afternoon, he stopped at their favorite jewellery store and and purchased the watch he had his eye on for his wife..

When the husband arrived home, he was happy, all that anamosity having now disappeared, he was going to suprise his beloved wife with that stunning watch and tell her how much he loved her, how much he was in love with her and would just hold her close..

Then, he opens the door and goes to the kitchen, because he was ready to surprise his beloved with a big hello hug, kiss and her most beautiful gift, but he sees that the breakfast was still there, now confused, thinking to himself, is she still mad at me !!!

The man goes to the room to leave his briefcase, and sees that the wife was still in the bed lying in the same position.

Now absolutely afraid, he walks over to her and something tells him, he really was not going to like what he had discovered.. He stands by her side of the bed leans over and touches her ice cold hand..

The husband cries, cries a lot and more. He screams in despair, because the wife was dead … Now he knew it was too late!!

Reflection:

Time is too short for fights. Know how to take advantage of it.

Take good care of your partner! Love your spouse unconditionally, cherish him/her, express more love and forgiveness and less hate..

Time waits for no-one. Above all do not display arrogance/pride in a marriage, solve issues, and never go to bed angry..

Stop and think:

If you do not want to put pride aside and solve things, the consequences can be irreversible. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice for love; there are no perfect people, there are real people willing to sacrifice for that love we so easily take for granted..

Communication between couples is key, I will not tell you that marriage is all moon shine and roses, that you will never face problems that would be a lie, and whoever says that he never fought with his partner is a liar, but everything has a solution except death.

Treasure what you have before it becomes what you thought you would never lose..

I have never meant more to myself, than i do right now..

I have always been so afraid of dying before knowing this feeling. I have been through bad, put myself through worse and thought that love had to make me bleed, that it always had to hurt. I have grown up. I refuse to go down not accepting who i am. I have being doing my digging and i have gone down every dark path. I am now confidently stronger than i have ever been, importantly i have made peace with my mistakes. I know now that self love is messy and what i never saw coming. That it is not hiding what will not be accepted and that it is allowing myself to become new at any given second. It took me much and much more time to realize that no one’s love is more important than that of my Creator first and me after. To let go of those who showed me no love nor compassion and to set free those who chose to walk away, to ignore the shame brought to my name by someone’s willing to cause such defame. So from here there is only one way out..

I am going to love myself the way it sets the world free..

I am going to love myself the way it empowers the real me..

I never truly meant so much to myself as i do right now..

I will die knowing this feeling of truly loving me..

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IF WE HAVE ONE FLAW, IT’S THAT WE OFTEN DON’T REALISE OUR OWN WORTH.

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