20 June 2002, a day she never knew would change her life in the most drastic and unchangeable way…
It was a very dull and dreary Thursday morning, she woke up as usual around 5 am, showered, read fajr salaah with her dad, got ready for work and was on her way out to start her rat race once again for that new day, her dad walked her up to the bus stop and saw her off, she really could not understand why saying goodbye to him on that specific morning felt so intensely painful, tears welled up in her eyes but she was sitting on a bus full of people so she had to fight it and just contain the sadness she felt..
The routine morning briefing with her boss, the meet and greet with all her office mates, and as she walked back to her office she felt the need to just break down and cry, all these emotions of sadness so new to her, she gets to the office door and shuts it behind her only to have her tears gush out, moments later she muscled up, took out her Yaseen the one that dad had given to her and she read, and that’s how her day had went, crying or reading Yaseen..
During zohr salaah, she found herself asking for Allah to protect her dad, keep him safe, to bless him and that made her even more emotional… As she had very attached to this amazing man…
The rest of that very painful day had dragged on, minute after minute all she thought of was her dad, and so at exactly 4pm she picked up the phone to call her mom like she everyday…
To her amazement dad answers, hey dad, how are she went onto asking him, and so that conversation went on with him telling her about how hard he had worked that day cleaning the garden and pruning all his trees (a secret about her dad, his garden was his pride and joy), then went onto saying to her, what will people think when they all come here and see an untidy yard…
What people dad, she asked..
He paused, and seconds later went onto saying to her, girl (now that was his pet name for his little girl) you have to be strong for yourself, stand up for what is right like I always taught to and don’t let me down, Not now not ever, by this time she had choked up so badly she could not hold back her tears…
Dad, are you okay she asked, and his reply was, please come home quickly daddy is waiting for you…
By this time a million things had been running through her mind, the anxiety kicked in and her breathing became deep and painful…
Dad I must go now but i will be home soon i promise, and right at that second, the second before cutting the call…
Her dad called out to her in a very soft sad tone, girl remember daddy loves You, I may have never said it before but you know dad loves you very much and thank you for always being so caring to me.. By now she felt her heart sink, girl please be strong for you and mummy, be the soldier I know you are he said and before she said anything he hung up, at that point her heart racing uncontrollably, all she could think of was getting home, so she ran a to the lift got downstairs and took off her shoes and ran aimlessly down lorne street, nearly getting knocked but that did not stop her, she just continued running, she had no idea why, all she knew was that she had to get home, getting to West street drenched and just in time to get the last bus home, the entire way home she sobbed silently, as the bus drove past her home and not seeing dad at the stop waiting for her she panicked more…
She gets off the bus and runs home, to walk in and see her beloved father walking down the passage to greet her, smiling but at the same time running his left shoulder, dad are you okay, she asked as he hugged her, yes I’m okay, just feeling a little discomfort and indigestion he replied… Where is the eno’seno’ s he asked, in the cupboard dad as she walked off into her bedroom…
Five minutes into putting her bag down and sitting on her bed, she hears a heavy thud, almost as though something had fallen really hard, she ran out her room and to her horror she sees her dad lying back flat on the floor of their sunroom, dad, she screamed, running to him, by that time her mom had already picked up his head, she grabs her dad’s feet, daddy no, she cried painfully, calling 911 with her dad laying on the floor, the agent answers and she cries to him to send an ambulance, by this time the agent, who being Muslim, tried to calm her asking her how her dad had been breathing, and all she said was my daddy’s feet are cold, his breathing from his tummy upward, 1 deep breath, the second breath slightly less deep and the last breath shallow and all she heard the guy on the phone say, please read his kalima and so she did dropping the receiver and grabbing her beloved fathers feet, a smile on his face and his head falls to the side, her mom’s calls out to him but there’s no response…
Moments later the paramedics arrive, ma’am could you kindly give us some space to work with the patient, so quickly hooking her dad to the heart machines, trying to shock him, adrenalin injection after the other…
She watched anxiously sobbing hard praying that her worst nightmare, had has become reality, and that’s when the paramedic comes to her mom, I am so sorry ma’am, we did what we could but his gone…
Silence befell both her and her mom, everything around them stopped and suddenly what felt like a warm loving home at that very painful moment felt like an ice cold morgue…
They both walked over to him laying lifeless on the ground, she fell to her knees and put her head on his chest, nothing, no movement, nothing, daddy please don’t daddy she cried, and right then and there she realised that was she was alone, no daddy, no best friend, no confidante, her whole life came crashing to a million irreplaceable pieces…
A day that changed her, changed her life, a day a very big part of her died too and a day she had no choice but to soldier up and move forward because that was the day Allah had taken away the one person who got her, who understood her, who trusted and loved her beyond condition or measure…
That was the day she had to learn how to be her own best friend… She had to learn the hard way how to fend for herself, she had to start making her own decisions and choices as daddy was no more… Daddy was no more to hold her hand and to guide her through this cruel deceptive life…
20 June 2002.. The day that had changed her life forever…
The end of their beautiful journey…
Gone but never forgotten…
The advice and motivation I bring you today…
For those of you who have both parents treasure them, it is not always that either your mom or dad will always be justified in decisions, or how they love you and your siblings, some may feel that one kid is favored over the other, let it be, make your own way in this world, learn to fend for yourself whilst their still here so you don’t have to scratch your head later on after their gone.. Forgive them, make dua for them, and always wish the best for them as they are human too…
To those whom have lost a parent like myself or maybe even both parents, be grateful for the love and good teachings the one May have given you or the tough love the other gave You, remember in that pain you felt feeling neglected and like you you loved less, there was a wise lesson too…
Today i stand tall and walk proud thanks to the wise words of my late father, I can decipher right from wrong and I know better than to hurt anyone to get my way, I am a survivor only coz he dumped me in the deep end and even though he was with me in spirit I felt him pull me through my trials and tests, thank you my beloved father for handing me the right tools to be the best version of me…
Regret can be a very painful emotion to live with, so try your very best not to live with regret, ever..
You were my confidante, my bestie and my one true love…
And today I can say I know you were the best Dad any kid could have asked for… I pray that Allah Ta’Allah Grant you Jannah my beloved father…
