Tag: self-improvement

What is one thing you would change about yourself?.. In My Own Words..

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

“The truth is simple.. I am done giving my whole heart to people who never came with their own.”

If there is one thing I would change about myself, it would be this. I would stop assuming that everyone carries a heart built like mine. I would stop handing out honesty like it’s a common language when, in truth, most people do not even know the alphabet of sincerity. I would stop covering for people who would never cover for me, stop protecting those who would gladly watch me bleed, stop being soft in a world that has proven again and again that softness is a luxury few deserve.

It sounds harsh, but it is the truth that life has hammered into me. I walk around believing that goodness is universal, that loyalty is instinctive, that when I shield people, they would shield me. But the reality is uglier, and far less poetic, some people will take everything I give, offer nothing in return, and still have the audacity to drive a knife straight into the jugular of my trust.

And the worst part?

I still try. I still give. I still hope.

If I could change one thing, it would be learning to reserve my goodness for places and people who have earned it. It would be understanding that compassion is a gift, not an obligation. That kindness without boundaries becomes self-destruction. That my heart is not a public resource.

I want to stop dimming my instincts just to keep toxic people comfortable.

I want to stop romanticising potential when reality is screaming.

I want to be wise enough to step back the moment someone shows me who they are, instead of giving them another chance to wound me deeper.

Changing this does not mean becoming cold, it means becoming selective. It means protecting my heart with the same intensity I have used to protect others. It means realising that being a good person does not require me to bleed for people who would not even lend me a bandage.

I deserve reciprocity. I deserve honesty. I deserve the same softness I give. And if I must change something, let it be this..

I will no longer spend my light on people who thrive in my darkness.

I will no longer shrink myself to fit the loyalty I never received.

I will be good, but naive no more.

I will be kind, but not at my own expense.

Because my heart is rare, and I finally understand that not everyone deserves access to it.

Too Busy Building to Be Bitter..

Let me be honest, jealousy is not about what another woman has. It is about what you are not doing. Jealousy does not come from her being ahead of you, it comes from you standing still. When you are not moving, when you are lost in hesitation, when your life feels like it is on pause, that is when comparison creeps in. You start scrolling, observing, analysing, and before you know it, you are measuring your worth against someone else’s highlight reel.

But here is the thing, when you are busy building, you do not have time for that. When your mind is occupied with purpose, with progress, with planning your next level, the noise of comparison becomes irrelevant. You stop caring about who posted what, who went shopping, who is on vacation, or who is flaunting something new. You are too focused on your own path. You are too locked in on becoming who you were meant to be.

People who are moving do not sit around watching others. They are too busy doing. They are too consumed by the grind, too motivated by growth, and too focused on the next move to waste energy on envy. The real difference between jealousy and peace is momentum. When you are moving, you do not look sideways, you look forward. You are not watching the competition, you are chasing your calling.

Jealousy thrives in stagnation. The moment you stop chasing your own goals, your mind starts finding someone else’s to compare to. The moment you lose direction, you start obsessing over someone else’s progress. But the woman who is locked into her vision? She does not have the time. She does not need validation, likes, or attention. Her silence is her focus. Her focus is her weapon.

So no.. I do not have the time to be jealous of another woman. I am too busy building my own life. Too busy stacking peace over drama. Too busy securing the bag, healing my mind, and protecting my energy. I am not scrolling to compare.. I am scrolling to learn. I am not sitting still waiting for miracles.. I am out there making moves, brick by brick.

You see, when you understand your worth, you stop watching others live theirs. When you are walking in purpose, your energy naturally detaches from envy. You begin to realise that every woman’s journey is her own, and yours is just as valid, just as powerful, and just as worthy of applause.

So let them post. Let them shine. Let them do whatever they do. You stay in your lane, focused, unbothered, and evolving. Because at the end of the day, the loudest woman is not the one showing off.. It is the one quietly becoming everything she prayed for.