I do not forgive you. And maybe that is not what I am “supposed” to say. Maybe the world expects me to wrap it all up neatly with healing, grace, and a polite wish of “well-being” for you. But I do not. I cannot. And I am not sorry.
Forgiveness is a gift, yes, but it is not a requirement. It is not an obligation to smooth over the cracks you left in me or to validate the pain you caused, regardless of my effort and care for you throughout our lives. Sometimes, closure does not come in warm words or a gentle letting go, it comes in truth, in naming exactly what is, in holding firm to the boundary of my heart.
I choose my peace, not for you, but for me. I choose honesty over performative grace. I choose to honor my pain without bending it into someone else’s narrative. I will heal, yes, in my own time, in my own way, but I will not apologize for where I stand.
I am not bitter; I am awake. I am not cruel. I am clear. And I am not sorry.
I have stood by you through every bit of your pain, your joy you never shared, your children were made mine and today I am a soul living in deep regret of loving those who never really loved me back. You were my only and you broke me. I do not forgive, I will never forgive you.
But I do thank you for the lessons and tears along the way, the made me much stronger to stand my ground today.
I lost myself being a mother to you and to those you are a mother too. But our paths end here.
