No one ever warned me that intimacy could feel like walking on a tightrope. That the closer you get to someone, the more raw, unguarded, and triggered you become. That the very act of opening your heart, something that is meant to bring love, comfort, and connection, can also awaken insecurities you did not know existed, magnify anxieties, and leave scars invisible to the world.
For me, love became a lesson in caution. Ten years of singleness is not a story of loneliness, it is a story of survival, of boundaries drawn and lessons learned. All it took was one wrong man to shift my entire perception of love, to reveal the anxiety it could bring, and to teach me that my peace is non-negotiable.
Intimacy, I realized, is not just about finding the right person, it is about confronting the shadows within yourself that only appear in the reflection of another. It is the triggers, the fears, the unmet expectations that surface when someone gets too close, that truly test your resilience. And in navigating this, I have discovered the rarest, truest love of all, the love I have for myself.
Choosing to remain single is not a defeat, it is a declaration. It is saying, I will not compromise my peace for the illusion of love. I will not sacrifice my sanity for someone who cannot meet me in my wholeness. It is a commitment to my own heart, a prioritization of my mental and emotional well-being above all else.
So yes, I am single, ten years and counting. And in that choice lies freedom, clarity, and the courage to wait for a love that nurtures rather than triggers, that adds rather than diminishes. Until then, I am learning, growing, and loving the one person who will never betray me. MYSELF.
