They told us that love was supposed to make our hearts race.
That it was supposed to make us nervous, breathless, “giddy” the kind of dizzy that makes you forget who you are for a while.
Butterflies, they called it. The flutter of excitement before the fall. But nobody told us that sometimes those butterflies die once the fantasy fades, that they were never meant to carry the weight of real love, especially the kind you owe yourself. Because self-love does not flutter. It does not tremble. It does not leave you lightheaded, it makes you light-hearted.
Self-love does not give you butterflies .. It gives you wings. And that is the difference between temporary highs and permanent healing.
See, butterflies make you feel something for a moment. Wings make you become something for a lifetime.
Butterflies belong to infatuation, wings belong to transformation. Butterflies make your stomach dance.
Wings make your soul soar.
Self-love is not the soft hum of validation or the adrenaline rush of being seen, it is the silent, stubborn decision to stay even when no one else does.
It is the moment you stop asking, “Am I enough?” and start saying, “I am enough.”
It is messy. It is unglamorous. It is waking up one morning and realizing the only person who can save you .. IS YOU.
It is choosing to pour back into the same cup the world kept sipping from and left empty. People often chase butterflies, those fleeting feelings that make them feel alive for a second.
But wings???
Wings are built slowly, painfully, and beautifully through boundaries, through healing, through saying NO when you have been taught to always say YES.
Wings grow in seasons of silence and solitude. They grow when you choose growth over guilt, peace over pressure, and authenticity over approval.
Butterflies do not survive storms.
But wings?
Wings were made to fly through them.
Self-love does not look like fireworks, it looks like discipline. It is not a spa day, it is shadow work. It is calling yourself out and comforting yourself right after.
It is taking accountability for the pain you allowed and still having grace for the version of you who did not know better.
When you start truly loving yourself, you will stop chasing butterflies because you will realise they were never your destiny .. They were just distractions.
You will stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing yourself. You will stop begging for closure and start building peace. You will stop mistaking excitement for alignment.
Because butterflies cannot take you where wings can. Butterflies live for the moment, wings live for the journey.
And babe, once you grow wings .. You do not go back to crawling. You will start flying in directions they told you did not exist. You will rise above the noise, glide past the opinions, and finally see your worth from a higher view.
Not everyone will recognize you when you do, that is okay. You were never meant to stay grounded for their comfort. Self-love is not supposed to make you nervous.
It is supposed to make you free.
So no, self-love will not give you butterflies. It will give you something far more permanent, it will give you wings. And once you learn how to use them…
You will never crave the ground again. 🕊️