2025..
The year that stripped me to my core. The year I met myself on the floor, broken, breathless, and bare before my LORD. It was not just another hard year, it was a divine reckoning. A year where everything I thought I needed was taken, one by one, until all that remained was me… and ALLAH.
I used to think strength meant holding on, but this year taught me that true strength is found in surrender. It is in whispering Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to ALLAH) through tears. It is in realising that sometimes ALLAH breaks your heart to rebuild your soul in a way the world cannot touch. I learned that HE does not take to punish. HE takes to protect, to redirect, and to reconnect you with HIM.
There were nights I cried so hard I forgot what silence felt like. Nights where the ache in my chest spoke louder than my prayers. But even then, somewhere between my pain and my patience, I felt HIS mercy. I started to understand that loss is not always cruelty, sometimes, it is a form of divine compassion. Because when ALLAH removes people or things from your life, it is not rejection, it is redirection. HE knows what you do not. HE sees what you cannot.
2025 was the year I finally stopped asking, “Why me?” and started saying, “Guide me.” Because every unanswered prayer was answered differently. Every door that slammed shut saved me from something I could not see. Every heartbreak was a lesson wrapped in mercy.
I used to beg for peace by asking ALLAH to fix what was breaking me. Now I know, sometimes the fixing is in the breaking. Sometimes you must be emptied of what is not meant for you, so ALLAH can fill you with what is. I learned that sabr (patience) is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to worship in the rain, to raise your hands even when your heart feels heavy.
And through it all, I realised something unshakable.. ALLAH never leaves. Even in my silence, HE was listening. Even in my pain, HE was near. When everyone else disappeared, HE remained. And that realisation alone became my healing, that no matter how lost I felt, I was never alone.
2025 broke me, yes.
But it also rebuilt me in the most sacred way. It peeled away every illusion of control and taught me that surrender is not weakness, it is the highest form of faith. Because when you stop chasing people, outcomes, and timelines, and instead start trusting the ONE who holds it all, that is when peace begins to bloom in the ruins.
So here I am, not the same person who began this year. I am softer, but stronger. Quieter, but wiser. My prayers come from a deeper place now, not from wanting, but from knowing. Knowing that in every tear, there is a prayer. In every loss, there is a hidden mercy. And in every breaking, there is an invitation, to return to ALLAH, the ONE who never lets go.