Ya Allah… Sometimes the heart grows so heavy it feels like it drags behind me. I whisper my prayers not because I am weak in faith, but because I am tired in life. Tired of the constant financial storms that refuse to settle. Tired of watching what was mine slip away through deception, injustice, and hands that never knew mercy. Tired of fighting battles I never asked for. Tired of carrying responsibilities that stretch me thinner every month.
Sometimes it feels like I am running on fumes, surviving on hope alone. And hope, Ya Allah, is beautiful, but it is also painful when life keeps testing me over and over again.
There are days I wake up already exhausted, not from living, but from surviving. From doing mental mathematics before my feet even touch the ground. From budgeting my sighs, planning my prayers, and rationing my tears. Every bill becomes a battle. Every unexpected expense feels like betrayal. Every month ends with the same question.. How will I manage? How much more can I take?
And amidst this exhaustion, Ya Allah, there is an aching injustice that gnaws at my soul, knowing something precious, something rightfully mine, was taken away through deception and cruelty. Knowing I did not lose it through laziness or neglect, but through someone else’s darkness. That wound burns deeper than the struggle itself. Because it was not fate that stole from me… it was people. People who slept peacefully after stripping me of peace.
Ya Allah… Only You know how heavy this burden has become. Only You know the nights I cried quietly so the world would not hear my cracking voice. Only You know the prayers I whispered while pretending I was okay. Only You know how close I have come to breaking, and how many times You pulled me back with nothing but Your mercy.
I am not asking for riches, Ya Rabb. I am not asking for luxury. I am only asking for relief, for stability, for the return of what was unjustly taken, for the restoration of what was broken, for the dignity of living without fear of tomorrow. I am asking for rest. A moment to breathe without calculating. A month without worry. A life where my heart is not constantly running ahead of me, checking for danger.
I am tired, Ya Allah. Not of You.. Never of You, but of the trials that feel endless. I am tired of pretending to be strong when I crave softness. Tired of holding everything together when inside I am unraveling. Tired of fighting storms with bare hands and an exhausted soul.
Please, Ya Rahman, Ya Adl, return to me what was taken. Right the wrongs that bruised my spirit. Replace what was stolen with something purer, something blessed, something that carries Your divine justice. Let the hands that harmed me face what they sowed. Let the path ahead of me be filled with ease I did not expect, relief I do not understand, and blessings I cannot count.
Wrap me in the warmth of Your provision, Ya Rabb. the kind that settles the heart and quiets the mind. Lift this weight from my chest. Let me breathe freely again.
Because I am tired… And You are the only One who can turn exhaustion into elevation, pain into power, and loss into justice.
Ameen, Ya Rabb.
Ameen with every trembling part of me.
