There is something about 3AM.. that sacred hour when the world is asleep but your soul is wide awake, whispering things you do not even have the words for.
That is when I met GOD again, not in a mosque, not through a lecture, but in the raw ache of my heart.
I asked GOD why it hurts so much.
HE said, “If it did not, you would not come looking for ME.”
And suddenly, I understood, pain is not punishment, it is direction.
It is HIS way of pulling me closer when the noise of the world gets too loud.
I asked if it will get better.
HE said, “I will make it better, in ways you cannot even imagine.”
And I felt something shift. Not the pain, but the promise.
Because sometimes HE does not fix the situation immediately.. HE fixes you first.
I asked why I care so much, why I always feel like I am losing.
HE said, “You care because I made you that way. You are not losing, you are learning. Every give plants a seed that will one day return as grace.”
And for the first time, I saw that my heart was not weak for loving deeply, it was divine for reflecting HIS LOVE even when it was not returned.
I asked why no one seems to care anymore, why HE had to expose so many faces I thought were real.
HE said, “Because if I did not remove the veils, you would have trusted them more than ME. So I had to let you see their truth so you would finally see MINE. They were temporary. I AM ETERNAL.”
And in that moment, my loneliness did not feel empty, it felt holy.
Because I was not alone, I was being refined.
So I sat there, no tears, just quiet surrender.
Because sometimes the most healing conversations do not come with miracles, they come with meaning.
And this morning, GOD did not change my way of thinking, HE gave me clarity instead.
HE reminded me that every loss had a lesson, every silence had a message, and every heartbreak had HIS hand behind it.
So yes… I am still healing. Still human. Still learning.
But I am no longer asking “Why me?”.. I am whispering “Thank You.”
Because even in my breaking, HE was building me. HE was, is and will always be my only constant, HE is my only hope, my only truth, MY ONLY 🤲
🕯️ 3AM .. where pain becomes prayer, and prayer becomes peace.
